new words for old desires

ohantarcticaa @ 2009-02-23T02:19:00

2009-02-23T10:34:25Z

ugh ugh ugh i waaaaaant!

these for my scarfs:

and i just got these!!!

ohantarcticaa @ 2009-01-17T10:59:00

2009-01-17T19:13:29Z

nick and i just booked our first mini-getaway!
we are staying in laguna one night at the seven4one:

and one night in LA at the orchid:

my little kittyself is purring with excitement! i can't wait for beach sand and snagging good thrift store finds!

more recently not much is new:
i hired a personal trainer
+ sewing, knitting, reading

i plan to go through my closet and minimize, i want to get back on track with my travel plans.

argentina again in the fall. hopefully next year i can backpack through spain and in through france and italy! and i'd really like to hike machu pichi in peru!

fourth of july

2008-07-07T05:10:19Z

ohantarcticaa @ 2008-05-26T10:32:00

2008-05-26T17:33:39Z

my excuse for
absolutely everything
is that it's
s u m m e r

ohantarcticaa @ 2008-04-29T11:19:00

2008-04-29T18:22:54Z

summers here!
im gonna live in cut off shorts and bathing suits
and swim and party as much as i cannnnnnnn

ohantarcticaa @ 2008-04-12T10:06:00

2008-04-12T17:08:08Z

im wearing your clothes
im carrying a hungover headache
and needing a lot of things that dont exist.
i should not go out for awhile.
curiousity has no measure
and i need to get out of here./

ohantarcticaa @ 2008-04-09T23:38:00

2008-04-10T06:39:22Z

i think i've been eating too much ice cream;
its getting a little obsessive///

ohantarcticaa @ 2008-04-08T09:00:00

2008-04-08T16:01:45Z

oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my GOSH!
pepi's new cd comes out in just fifteen days!
i can't wait!

ohantarcticaa @ 2008-04-03T22:53:00

2008-04-04T06:01:16Z

i just barfed in my mouth.
metaphorically.

im not depressed how i used to feel
but in this way that i
feel im now stagnant.
i had dreams and ambitions and goals
before you came around throwing game
and now im back at point a.
well, fuck you.

ohantarcticaa @ 2008-04-01T20:47:00

2008-04-02T04:11:15Z

Vegas!

ohantarcticaa @ 2008-03-31T12:00:00

2008-03-31T19:03:23Z

i made my first dress on my sewing machine this week!
check list:

make more dresses
journals/planners project
fresh juice everyday
ticket for portland
new polaroid camera/film
lomography
world map!

ohantarcticaa @ 2008-03-14T21:05:00

2008-03-15T04:18:10Z

im trying to write
and everytime i write i just hit that
backspace button and then im back at
point one sitting here wondering what
im doing here in the first place.
im not happy to be home at all.
and when i think about it.
today im not happy to be here at all.
i dont understand why things can be
so perfect, so amazing one moment
and then the next that whole world,
that whole bit of happiness could disappear.
like there were never feelings there at all.
like you never existed enough to be real.
how nothing could be wrong,
and you could lose importance; closeness.

i can feel everything
and nothing at the same time.

ohantarcticaa @ 2008-03-10T15:13:00

2008-03-10T22:16:27Z

T surprised me by picking me
up at the airport last night!
and then laid in bed all night and morning.
it feels good to be home.

ohantarcticaa @ 2008-03-08T21:37:00

2008-03-08T23:39:21Z

i dont even know if i want to come home.
the position i've been waiting for in
portland is open and i sort of feel like
just up and going.
i almost have what i wanted to be at,
and there isnt much holding me in
vegas... so it s e e m s!

ohantarcticaa @ 2008-03-03T02:02:00

2008-03-03T04:21:20Z

ever since i was little i have experienced
a lot of nervous anxiety that tends to
take place in my stomach causing me to
always feel uneasy and nautious.

i have also noticed that i hold my breath
a lot sub-consciously,
and then i start to feel like im suffocating
and have to remind myself to take repetitious
deep breaths to keep from gasping for air.

i have a lot of that nervous energy tonight.
about many things in general but one thing
in particular.
it's two a.m. and i can't sleep.
bugs have stopped eating me alive today...
although yesterday i somehow managed to
get bit several times in one spot
taking place on the right side
of my right ankle.
which now just looks like an
uneven swelling of red splotchiness.

early after dinner my sister and i were looking
at old photo albums of my mom and dad
before i was born. and i came across one i had
never seen before of them in a photobooth.
my mom couldnt have been older than twenty
and they looked as if they were so in love.
there was one next to it, also taken in a
photobooth, but maybe several years later..
and there they are peering out still every
bit in love as they were so many years back...
its scary to think about time and love and heartache
and what people go through and how they worry.
eighteen years of marriage and then it was just over.
like love sort of just disappeared.

im going to try to get some sleep.
i plan on going to the beach in
the morning to drink yerba and sink my
feet in holes of warm beach sand.

oh yea, and p.s.
i finally found my antique
penguin wine pitcher
i have been searching for!
now i can go home and happy little girl :)

ohantarcticaa @ 2008-02-28T23:22:00

2008-02-29T01:22:16Z

im heartsick today.

ohantarcticaa @ 2008-02-25T00:35:00

2008-02-25T02:43:49Z

a list of things i will be
getting/doing
when i get back to the states:

-world map for my wall
-thermos for mate
-fabric for dresses
-learn to make slipper socks
-new sewing machine
-juicer
-plan trip to portland

ohantarcticaa @ 2008-02-23T20:30:00

2008-02-23T22:33:56Z

my surprise was a tour of rosario by boat!
it was so beautiful and
i got the most rediculous tan because i
thought it was smart to put sunscreen only on my shoulders
and part of my back... smart one.
we took an hour bike ride there and back and on the way home
i stopped to pick up my little owl family and some for others.
then we rode all through the monument and looked over the city.

i miss t bad. three weeks is long to be away.

ohantarcticaa @ 2008-02-23T13:48:00

2008-02-23T15:51:10Z

today we are taking a bike ride that leads to a two hour tour of something secret and then to a party in the country side yippeee

ohantarcticaa @ 2008-02-19T11:30:00

2008-02-19T13:31:44Z

steph woke me up with homeade pancakes
with sauce made of plums and orange juice this morningggg
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

ohantarcticaa @ 2008-02-18T23:58:00

2008-02-19T02:34:47Z

today is steph's birthday. we went to her friend adriana's for lunch and desert.
she made this amazing triple layer chocolate cake with whipped cream cheese frosting.
then i picked her brain about studying abroad. she studied for several years in france and then about three years ago moved here to argentina and picked up spanish. her and my sister have started a book club which makes me jealous because i have always wanted to have that type of friend who also holds interest in reading and discussing books of all form... i started reading the book of disquiet by fernando pessoa today on the rooftop that overlooks the city..

we then went downtown and together taught an hour and a half session of conversational english and then went back home to get ready for dinner where we went to the outskirts of rosario and ate at this little place overlooking the lake and the bridge. it was beautiful. slowly im able to eat more and im finding more ways to make more food and eat healthier...
tomorrow i plan to cut my hair and go to the spa.... here you can get swedish massage for about forty pesos which would be about 22 u.s. dollars... amazing right?

ohantarcticaa @ 2008-02-18T20:05:00

2008-02-18T22:06:12Z

while ive been out here adventuring i have had a lot of time to think about things in my life... and really i know we have talked about this so many times before but i just am so uhappy there in vegas. i just feel like all my life consists of is working. and i have no real friends, just people who call themselves my friends but never put in the effort... but being out here has given me so much time to think and to wonder what i want to do with my life and where i want to go. and i want to see the world. i want to travel and go everywhere and i can do this alone but i want a partner to want to do it with me as well.

argentina!!!

2008-02-18T00:12:51Z

just spent three amazing days in buenos aires.
the weather here (argentina) is unbelievably moist. i mean skin sticks to skin.
but beautiful. i mean there are not words for what i have already gotten to experience.
the first day steph picked me up from my plane and we took a taxi to our place of stay called "hotel turista".. then we set out to walk to city which turned into an all day adventure.

the architecture here is amazing. most of the buildings are hand carved out of marble and granite from the 1840's.
we spent five hours walking through streets in search of this old cemetery. its this whole city of tombs locked behind tall gates that stretch for blocks of the city. most of them are made from stone and bricks and others have great big carved statues and slate and marble holding generals and doctors and professors and entire families from centuries...

and food. i have had quite an experience with it. they dont have anything i can eat. and i mean NOTHING. when they say its all meat and breads, they're not lieing. literally they only have chicken, beef, pork, fish, eggs, potatoes and criossants. no lemons or vegetarian foods. no mexican food and everything is in spanish so i cant even order off the menu! its just frustrating... not bad.

last night after the cemetery we had empanadas and then took a taxi to the botanical gardens where its home to hundreds of stray cats. and after we went to a mardi gras parade in the streets. kids were spraying foam instead of silly string and it was all about drums. and after we walked to get pizza from one of the oldest pizza places in argentina. there are no seats so you order and stand up to eat and when you are finished they trust you enough to just ask what you ate and you pay. and here they make this garbanzo bean patty you slice and eat on top of your pizza which was phenomenal!!!!!!

this morning (sunday) we woke up early and walked the quiet streets to this flea market. every sunday the entire town gets together and sells their used things. but the amazing thing is that its all original vintage argentinian goods. and when you exit the building it keeps going. it spreads all through the streets for miles and down through the plaza where there are alive statues and people doing plays with puppets and little old women singing tango and classical playing drums and men and women dancing tango. after that we took a bus home to rosario and drove home by the river. everyone here goes to the park every sunday where artisans sell their homeade art goodies and the people sit in lawn chairs by the river.

i almost had a panic attack at the grocery store because i thought it would be a little different from the restraunts and i realized im probably going to starve in this country... but then i did some deep breathing and bought some rum and coke and we went back to the house. now we are cooking dinner and later we are going to order ice cream (that they deliver to your house!!!) and the one we are going to get is called cream of drunk made with vanilla ice cream and dulce de leche and cognac rum sprinkled with crushed cookies. oh my gosssssssh im gonna be in ice cream comatose....

anyways, this trip is so far amazing. unlike anything i could have ever asked for or done for myself and i never want to come home.

ill update soon again! :)

ohantarcticaa @ 2008-02-13T08:58:00

2008-02-13T17:06:13Z

last night travis, tino, and i went to the secret vice party to see the black lips [ooomhgloveofmylife] play! we blew our permabubbles from the balcony and watched them get stuck in people's hair and on their clothes... it was hilarious. i got to see ry too!

the black lips got kicked out after their second song because one of them took their pants off.
such a stupid reason to be kicked out.

anyways,.,.,
today is my last day in town.
i leave tomorrow morning and arrive in buenos aires on friday afternoon. can't wait!

ohantarcticaa @ 2008-02-10T01:07:00

2008-02-10T09:08:04Z

i leave for south america in four days!!
yiiippieeeeeeee